Hey you... Yeah, you. In the waiting.... I see you... You're getting weary. You're getting anxious. You've been waiting, in the in between for what feels like so long. Not quite at the beginning of the painful circumstance that felt so raw and had you in so much anguish, but in the midst of day... Continue Reading →
Hi, again.
Wow, it's been one year since I've last blogged... How crazy and awful. It's been a year full of changes and I guess along the way I lost something that once brought me joy. Writing. Writing is something that has been therapeutic for me, but I honestly haven't felt the nudge to write until tonight.... Continue Reading →
God met me there..
The last few years of my life have been incredibly painful... Pain that has torn at the lining of my soul. Pain that has shattered my entire existence. Pain that broke every bit of who I was and tested everything I ever believed in... And when I often I speak to people or blog about our journey,... Continue Reading →
Miles’s 1st Birthday.
December 7th was Miles's 1st birthday... And although every part of us wishes we had our son here with us, we tried to push through the pain and heartache and find ways to honor him and his sister in Heaven... In honor of Miles's and Brooklyn's birthdays, we decided to make baskets to take to... Continue Reading →
Brooklyn’s 2nd Birthday.
November 29th marked our baby girl's 2nd birthday in Heaven... Two years... I can't believe it's been two years since the best and worst day of my life. I gave birth to our first child, our daughter Brooklyn... But she also died in my arms... We got to meet the baby I had been growing... Continue Reading →
We were pregnant…
We were pregnant... Yes... You read that right... Were... Past tense... We lost our third baby... The past month and a half has been a rollercoaster of emotions... From the joy of getting the phone call, to the sinking feeling you get when your surrogate bleeds, to the relief you feel when you see the sweet... Continue Reading →
Leading to Transfer.
It has been awhile since I have blogged and a lot has happened during that time. The past month has been filled with hope, excitement, anxiety, and the daily struggle of grief. We have learned to balance work, our home life, and the doctor's appointments. Days that included legal, medications, lab draws, ultrasounds, and waiting... Continue Reading →
Choosing to live.
It has been nearly five months since Miles has passed away... Minutes, hours, and days filled with the unknown... But also still filled with hope and with faith... I want to continue this journey of sharing and catch you up to our present day life... After Miles passed away, my sister and brother flew in the... Continue Reading →
The Roller Coaster of NICU.
December 8, 2017. 6:06 pm. This was the first time that I got to leave the ICU and visit Miles. I had spent the past day and a half only being able to see him through pictures, videos and FaceTime. I was incredibly thankful for a strong and loving husband who balanced taking care of... Continue Reading →
Miles’ Birth Story Part 2
Everything happened so quickly the morning that Miles was born. It is difficult and emotional to try and process everything that happened that day... From the terror of the unknown to the love, positivity and strength of my husband to the compassion shown to us by the hospital staff... As difficult as it is, I... Continue Reading →
Love, The Johnsons 