Wow, it’s been one year since I’ve last blogged… How crazy and awful. It’s been a year full of changes and I guess along the way I lost something that once brought me joy. Writing.
Writing is something that has been therapeutic for me, but I honestly haven’t felt the nudge to write until tonight. So here I am, 10 o’clock at night typing away at my keyboard with a million thoughts running through my mind wondering “where do I start?”…
I’ll try to play catch up as best as I can, but forgive me if I ramble…
I suppose I’ll start where I left off, opening up about how “God met me there…” — He did. He still is. And I know He will continue to meet me where I am. And believe me… This year (years really) has been dark, lonely and full of challenges. I’ve felt every emotion from joy to confusion and heartache… And sometimes I’ve felt them all at the same time. Talk about overload. But through it all, God has never failed me. And honestly, He has done great work during those times. I’ve learned, and I’ve grown, and I imagine I will continue to learn and grow for the rest of my days.
Yes, we are still grieving. — I have felt like a broken record at times. Gone through waves of hiding myself, my depression and my grief. But I am finding (though I struggle at times) that grief is not linear, that it’s both okay and possible to have room for pain and joy.
Yes, we are still in faith for a baby. — This journey has not at all turned out what I imagined it would be. But every piece has been purposeful and fruitful. I’ve learned patience. And trust. I’ve learned to not put God in a box. That even though the journey doesn’t look the way you thought it would, God has the power to heal and restore it all.
I know what you are thinking. Like I had some big announcement or update? I don’t right now. But while I have no announcement, I do have a reminder…
A reminder that no matter how lonely the road may feel, God is with you. Who do you run to first? Do you talk to your spouse or pick up the phone to call a friend?… And while there is nothing wrong with those things, what would you do if you couldn’t? If no one answered or they were too busy? — Seek God’s comfort like you would theirs. But seek Him first. Know that His presence is just as tangible.
A reminder that no matter how deep that pit is or how dark it may feel, you are never out of God’s reach. Depression has no hold over you. Anxiety has no hold over you. Fear has no hold over you. Those things are not from God and that is not where He wants you… Or me…
A reminder of the good news. Jesus. God’s pursuit of us is powerful and beautiful. Sinful and disobedient, yet God so wanted us to be with Him that He sent His only son to die for our sins. That’s love. And I want to pursue and love God the way He pursues and loves me.
These reminders are for you, and for me…
Because when God is doing big things, the enemy will try to trick you, deceive you, and distract you from all that God has for you. They are lies, and don’t you believe them.
When your world gets cloudy and its hard to think, I pray you find comfort and peace. Comfort on the road He’s set you on, because you are never alone — He is guiding and growing you through every season. And peace in knowing that the picture God has for us is far more beautiful than we could ever imagine.
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. — Jeremiah 29:11
Love, The Johnsons 
This encouraged me, thank you.💗💗💗
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